Lorelai's 30 Day Challenge
by slaymaster
Summary: Set after the Dragonfly test run, Lorelai finds a 30 day journalling challenge in an old magazine. Confused about her life, especially everything with Rory and Luke, she decides to do the challenge in an attempt to understand what she is thinking about.


**30 Day Challenge**

_**This idea came courtesy of Katieupatree who created a challenge to do a Kate Beckett story. I'm adapting the idea for none other than Lorelai Gilmore. Basically, Lorelai has found the list of questions in an old magazine and decides to do the challenge in an old diary. What will she discover about herself? This is set after the first Luke-Lorelai kiss.**_

**Day One Introduce yourself (start with your name, it gets easier after that) Tell us who you are, and why you're taking part in our 30 day challenge?**

My name is Lorelai Victoria Gilmore. I am a mother, first and foremost. I am a friend. I am a business owner. I am a coffee lover. I am a daughter. That is who I am, in that order.

My daughter, Rory, is my world. She just finished her first year at Yale and she makes me proud _every_ day. Actually, more like _almost_ every day. She's always been a good girl, but there have been times where I've played the mom card. I've never really known how I ended up with such a good kid; by all rights I should have had the most evil child in the history of evil children. I wasn't exactly a good kid, but the fact that I had Rory at 16 before running away from home with my young daughter kind of tells you that. I do worry at times that she is more like me than I had thought. Today is one of those days and it scares me so much. I don't regret anything in my life, but Rory deserves more than this for her future. I don't understand why she can't see that what she is getting herself into is so wrong. I can't talk about Rory any more. I'm just too angry right now. She's my world, so I will end up writing about her more over the next month.

As I said, I love my life. I have the most amazing friends, none of which I would have if it wasn't for the quirky town I live in. Stars Hollow, home to the strangest people I have ever met. I would do anything for my friends, and they have proved over and over that they would do anything for me. Sookie has fed me and been like a second mother to my daughter. Patty has made me laugh with the gossip of the town. Kirk has done, well, Kirk has tried his hand at everything. Lane, Rory's best friend, has given me playlists for every occasion. Luke has fed me and kept me in coffee, as well as doing all the 'man' jobs around the crap shack. Well, Luke has done more than that. I'll get to Luke later. That's something else that is a little tough to talk about.

I am a business owner. Sookie and I are just about to open up our own inn, The Dragonfly. We've just had our test weekend, filling the inn with family and friends. I'm still new to the business owner thing, so it's an important part of my life and defines me, but there isn't much to say about it.

I am a coffee lover. Coffee is how Luke Danes and I met. Luke makes the most amazing coffee and my day is not complete without at least one cup of his great coffee. Luke has become a pretty important part of my life, so I'm certainly glad of coffee introducing me to him. I seriously cannot make it through the day without coffee. Coffee defines me.

Finally, I am a daughter. As I wrote earlier, I wasn't the perfect child. I hated my childhood and did everything I could to rebel long before Christopher knocked me up. Understandably, my parents and I have a strained relationship. My father has never been able to connect to me and my mother's life revolves around parties and outward appearances. They are unable to show love – to me. They're lovely to Rory and dad makes a real effort to connect with her and her education, and that makes me so happy. They may not show it, but I do know that they care. When I left home with Rory I rarely went back for visits. It was strictly holidays only, and that usually felt like we saw too much of the Hitlers. When Rory got accepted to her fancy school, I had to ask them for money. Of course, they couldn't simply help me out and we got stuck going to weekly dinners. I paid them back, but our application to Yale for financial aid got rejected. Rory went behind my back and asked my parents for money for school so we're back at dinners.

Uh so the next part of the question was why I'm doing this challenge. My life has gotten pretty crazy lately. My relationship with Rory is a bit of a mess and I really don't know how to deal with her and what she is going through right now. I figured this might help me to clear my head and clarify what I'm thinking. There is something else going on to, something with one of my friends. We're at a turning point and some major stuff happened. I think I want to move forward and totally change the relationship, but that scares me. I don't _really_ know how I feel about it, and the magazine _did_ say that doing this sort of thing helps to understand what you're really thinking. I can only hope.


End file.
